Carrying wounds of life, and dealing with them.


Life is a series of activities and not all are pleasant. We are dragged into events that stab us. The memories of such events can haunt us for a lifetime. There are also stresses that we encounter in daily life. They too stay with us, stored in our physical form.

What do we do about such memories and the stress that accumulates?

We react differently. Some can get past them. But many are unable to shrug them off. Either the memories are too strong and have entered deep, or we carry them with us because we somehow blame ourselves and feel the pain is our punishment. We can also make such memories a part of our lives because, strange as it may seem, we feel incomplete without them. Clinging to painful memories and ruminating on them is more common than the forgetting.

There are also issues like not loving ourselves; our qualities and appearance. We feel that the way we are represented on earth is not our real self. We are better, beautiful and yet the face in the mirror does not reflect that reality. For many life has been very traumatic and they do not know how to deal with the experience.

Many of our pent up emotions are about atrocities that we have faced in life. This can be from people who have harmed us without any provocation. Our agonies may be rectified at the physical level but the memories linger and we tend to harbor resentment in return.  We need to forgive however difficult that may be. Otherwise these situations can be very difficult to tackle. They can be the hell on earth that we often talk about.

I have witnessed people narrate such experiences before a spiritual personality. After listening to them attentively he would say, "I can understand what you have gone through. But now it is over. Move on."

This indeed is the way to deal with bitter memories but how many can and will move on? Those who have a flow in their lives can do so. But for some life seems to stop after such incidents and the flow is missing. They seem stuck with their pain. Many are also unable to forgive as it may be difficult to do so. They keep on ruminating over the incidents and add to their misery. What can they do?

They can be helped by friends who can guide them and help bring them into the mainstream. The other path may involve visiting psychiatrists who put them on medications but that can become habit forming and exacerbate the situation. Others can fall into the snares of commercial entities posing as God men. They can encounter people who may exploit them further.

Ultimately it is the person itself who has to extricate him or herself. Earlier there was a system of education that included the travails of life and the philosophy to get over them. This truly empowered people. But today education is about earning money, a task that makes one thoroughly unprepared for the battles of life; within and without. Youngsters rush in into terrible situations simply because they are ignorant of how to live and what to live for. We see lives being destroyed everywhere. Suicides are a very unfortunate fall out.

We can read books written by survivors who have narrated their experiences and how they have emerged from the crisis. Many of them have gone on to become mental health coaches. Louise Hay is one such author. Her books are very popular. The book You Can Heal Your Life is a best seller. 

Emotions and feelings get stored in the finer tissues and the muscles of the body. We develop maladies that express themselves as painful conditions and degenerative diseases. Meditation, exercising regularly, being among friends, being amidst natural surroundings, exposing ourselves to sunlight, walking barefoot on grass, and getting the services of chiropractors, acupuncture, and acupressure experts may provide relief.

Try deep breathing exercises like pranayama. Relaxation techniques like the yoga nidra go deep within to heal. 

Good nutrition is necessary to strengthen the body and mind. Often the digestive system is affected by depression and other negative emotions and there is loss of hunger. This needs to be addressed with herbal support. Such people will need vitamin and mineral therapy like potassium, magnesium, calcium, zinc, and the B, C, and D vitamins. Taking steps to increase hunger and ensuring good sleep are the first steps.

Detoxification is necessary. Toxins tend to cross the blood brain barrier and affect people seriously at the mental level. Negative emotions also create toxins in the body.  Depressed people fall a prey to addictions. There is need to visit credible naturopathy clinics and Panchakarma centers. Naturopathic detoxification, panchakarma, and oil massages are useful. Often this is the first line of treatment. 

Herbs such as Brahmi, Ashwagandha, and Jatamansi help deal with the impact of stress. There is need for a healthy gut. The gut is known as the primeval brain. Triphala is a good combination for gut issues. Taking fermented foods like curd, pickles, kombucha, keeps the gut healthy. Chemicals adversely affect the gut and are a source of many of our problems as they kill beneficial microbes. Our mental and emotional health is dependent on a healthy microbial system.

Homeopathy can help with painful memories and the consequences of unfortunate events in life. The remedies like Natrum Mur, Ignatia, Pulsatilla, and Nux Vomica have given new lives to such people. Natrum Mur helps those who cling to painful memories because they get accustomed and it even brings some kind of satisfaction to them. Ignatia is for those who stoically carry the wound within and the only external signs can be going into solitude and sighing. Pulsatilla is for those who are shy and cry a lot. Nux Vomica is for the stoic and haughty modern man bending under the stress of hectic life. There are many other remedies too.

Bach flower remedies can address such issues as also other flower essences. The Biochemic system of medicine has remedies like Natrum Mur, Kali Phos, Magnesia Phos and Calcarea Phos for the nervous and emotional states. Prayers and confessions can also help release the burden. Attending kirtan or chanting sessions are another way. Laughter therapy can be a good release.

Suicidal thoughts or impulses must be taken very seriously. There is need to take professional help. Often people are so depressed they cannot seek help. They tend to keep things within themselves. They feel isolated and abandoned. They need to understand that such periods are intense, but they can pass with time. When they feel a little better they should confide in friends. Nowadays we have help lines and online counselors. There is need to emerge from the cocoon. Society needs to know the symptoms and watch out for such people. 

The important thing is self initiative and getting the chance to get out of the awkward situation. Clinging to the past is a great obstacle. That obstacle needs to be crossed. Society needs to be sensitive towards the vulnerable. If we help others overcome their difficulties help will also be there for us when we need it. Trying to hurt people, ignoring or criticizing them for their supposed failings is one trait that is a part of sadistic society. Many of us act without thinking. Those suffering need all the help they can get. Can we respond?