Eradicating the Vaccine - Autism Link.

Eradicating the Vaccine - Autism Link.
Autism rates are skyrocketing; they have crossed the roof. Researchers have found the vaccine autism link. Nailed it loud and clear. All the CDC studies have actually found that vaccines are behind the autism epidemic and CDC top posts are today too hot to handle - they cannot handle the current autism rates and are sitting on it. We have reached the tipping point and damage control will be the next step mirroring the tobacco-cancer strategy. This is the scenario.
1. Umm..yes, vaccines are slightly hurting a very tiny fraction of our children, we are currently working hard on this.
2. Vaccine safety is always top priority and we are continuously engaged in improving vaccines to fit our high standards.
3. The problems lie in delivery, you know cold storage, vaccine administration, need of trained personnel. Hell you know it all. We are trying our best to save our children. Just imagine a world without vaccines!
4. All that talk about the vaccine autism link, inane vaccine conspiracy theories, FB pages and groups; you know they are distracting our scientists and hurting vaccine research. Can you please help us stop it. We need a peaceful atmosphere to concentrate and work.
5. Ah, we found it. The gene responsible. Umm..yes, we need to understand which children are vulnerable. We are working on it. Please continue taking the vaccines. They save lives.
6. The corporate world. Sometimes they make mistakes. And you know the political forces involved. Tobacco, yes! You know how hard the doctors and their science tried to warn the public. Now we regulate the industry. There are warnings on labels now. We are working towards making the warnings more graphic.
7. Autism? No its not autism! We will soon come out with another name. Zombies. Yes they are zombies. With this new name autism rates will fall. Autism will be eradicated.
8. Ah, now we have safe painless vaccines. No more needles. We have developed patches. Just put them on and the drugs will be delivered through the skin. Better still take this electronic implant under your skin. A nano capsule? We have so many choices now. Let's stop calling it vaccines.
9. There we have it. No vaccines. No autism. Voila! No vaccine autism link! Thank science. Thank your doctors. Take your patch, your implant, your nano capsule. We are looking at this zombie phenomenon. Just don't worry.
So folks, there we have it. Problem solved. No vaccines. No autism. Thank science. Salute your doctors.