Why am I here?
Since
my early childhood one thought has consistently bothered me;
Why
am I here?
As
the days passed it became;
Why
the bloody hell am I here?
Now
it is;
I
should not be here.
I
don't know why it bothers me. To me the world is like a windowless house. I
keep searching for the window so I can peep out. That window is within us. It
is not easy to locate and open.
It
is futile to think death will open that window. The mind that is creating the
world survives death and again drags us back to this world.
We
need to cease interacting with this world. We need to ignore it to an extent
that it realizes we are not working material. The scriptures talk of not making
any plans. One just rolls on like the wheel of a cart that has detached itself.
After some time it will lose its momentum and fall.
One
needs a Guru. But it is not necessary that the Guru be in physical form. India
is replete with memories and advice of sincere Sages. If you per chance read
about them it is because they have willed it. Follow them and they become your
Guru. The real Guru is the Self. It is always there with you. The Self pulls
you in from inside. The Guru pushes you in from outside. When you submit to the
Guru you become the detached wheel.
Self
realization is not about losing anything. People recoil from the concept
because they are in love with the world, infatuated with it and enjoying what
little it has to give and suffering pain anxiety insecurity and fear as a
result. Self realization is reaching your fullest potential. It is like gaining
your father's property that nobody can ever take from you.
When
you live in a rented house while your father has a grand castle you often
think;
I
should not be here.
Self realization is coming home.
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